Better Parenting with the Enneagram: Nine Types of Children and Nine Types of Pa

Description: Better Parenting with the Enneagram by Ann Gadd A guide to using the Enneagram for harmonious parent-child relationships FORMAT Paperback LANGUAGE English CONDITION Brand New Publisher Description A guide to using the Enneagram for harmonious parent-child relationships• Examines each of the 9 Enneagram types as parents, including how to utilize your types inherent skills to be a better parent • Explores each of the 9 types as children and teens, including their positive and more challenging traits, their triggers and fears, and how you can help your child find emotional health and achieve their full potential • Looks at each of the 81 parent-child type combinations and shows how each combination works at its best as well as what happens under pressure UNDERSTANDING HOW WE PARENT and why helps us to become better parents. Seeing life through the filters of our Enneagram type lets us connect with our children in a healthy and more conscious way.Certified Enneagram practitioner and experienced parent Ann Gadd explores the 9 Enneagram parenting types and the 9 Enneagram child types, revealing each types strengths and challenges as well as exploring all 81 parent-child type combinations. A fun quiz helps you discover your parenting style, whilst highlighting gifts as well as areas for improvement. Getting to grips with the emotional inner core of your kids, you gain insight into positive and more challenging traits of each Enneagram type child and how to encourage the best from them. Better Parenting with the Enneagram is like having your own personal manual--for yourself and your child. Youll learn what drives them, what they fear most, what inspires them, and most importantly, how you can best relate to them, whether they are young kids, pre-teens, or teenagers. The systematic approach of the Enneagram offers an opportunity for learning to better understand your child, react more appropriately in stressful situations, and improve your overall relationship. Youll learn to recognize and navigate not only your childs triggers but also your own. Tumultuous emotional storms might be averted by becoming aware of what kind of response your child needs in certain situations. Feeling more understood will create a deeper parent-child bond, because being present with our children is the best gift we can give them. Author Biography Ann Gadd is a fully accredited Enneagram practitioner (iEQ9 certified), presenter and professional member of the International Enneagram Association (IEA), holistic therapist, artist, workshop facilitator, and journalist. She is the author of 35 books, including Sex and the Enneagram and an Enneagram kids series of books. Ann lives in Cape Town, South Africa. Table of Contents IntroductionPART 1Parenting and the Enneagram1 The Enneagram-Your Parenting How-To2 Easy-Peasy Enneagram Terminology ExplainedPART 2The Enneagram Types -- Parents and Children3 Type OneThe Type One Parent: The Parenting PerfectionistThe Type One Child: The Good Boy/Girl4 Type TwoThe Type Two Parent: The Pleasing and Praising ParentThe Type Two Child: :The Little Helper5 Type Three The Type Three Parent: The Goal-Setting Go-Getter The Type Three Child: The Little Star 6 Type FourThe Type Four Parent: The Introspective IndividualistThe Type Four Child: The Creative Child7 Type FiveThe Type Five Parent: The Observing IntrovertThe Type Five Child: The Little Professor8 Type SixThe Type Six Parent: The Dutiful ParentThe Type Six Child: The Super Little Trooper9 Type SevenThe Type Seven Parent: The Spontaneous SocializerThe Type Seven Child: The Enthusiastic Extrovert10 Type EightThe Type Eight Parent: The Assertive AdultThe Type Eight Child: The Bossy Boots11 Type NineThe Type Nine Parent: The Accepting Adult/Patient ParentThe Type Nine Child: The Chilled ChildPART 3Parent–Child CombinationsType SixThe Type Six Parent: The Dutiful Parent The Type Six Child: The Super Little Trooper Type Seven The Type Seven Parent: The Spontaneous Socializer The Type Seven Child: The Enthusiastic Extrovert Type EightThe Type Eight Parent: The Assertive Adult The Type Eight Child: The Bossy Boots Type NineThe Type Nine Parent: The Accepting Adult/Patient Parent The Type Nine Child: The Chilled ChildPART 3 Parent-Child CombinationsType OneParents and Their Children Type Two Parents and Their Children Type ThreeParents and Their ChildrenType FourParents and Their Children Type FiveParents and Their Children Type Six Parents and Their ChildrenType Seven Parents and Their Children Type EightParents and Their ChildrenType NineParents and Their Children AfterwordAppendixQuick Type Overview Lost Messages Your Child Needs to HearWhat Toys Different Enneagram Type Kids Could Enjoy .BibliographyAbout the Author Review "Ann Gadd has written a concise and accessible guide for parenting based on the Enneagram. It can be enjoyed by beginning Enneagram enthusiasts and still provides depth for experienced practitioners. Better Parenting with the Enneagram focuses on the positive characteristics of each type and gently challenges us to recognize the places we go to under the specific stresses of parenting. As a child of a Type Four mother, I was blown away by the books accuracy. Ann was able to capture my experience growing up and articulate what I needed as a little child. As a psychotherapist and a parent of two small children this book has become my go-to guide to help the little people and parents in my life!" * LYNDSEY FRASER, MA, LMFT, CST, marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist *"Better Parenting with the Enneagram is yet another incredibly valuable contribution by Ann Gadd to the rapidly expanding list of Enneagram literature. Ann is proving again that the Enneagram is not just an abstract spiritual tool but that our passions show up in every aspect of our daily life. Parenting can be extremely challenging, and Ann explains in her enviably eloquent and humorous style how we tend to make things needlessly worse for ourselves and our kids. This book will help any parent to worry less and actually enjoy some of the weird behaviour of our kids." * FREDERIK COENE, Ph.D., Enneagram researcher and member of the International Enneagram Association *"Anns book Better Parenting with the Enneagram is a clear, accessible read for those of us who want to parent with awareness, understanding, and acceptance. Her simple yet detailed presentation of the information makes it enjoyable and easy to digest (coming from a Type Seven parent with two small children!)." * CHARLOTTE HAGGIE, health and well-being coach *"A gem of a read! As a soon-to-be parent, this book helped me acknowledge the natural strengths that I am already bringing to the table and also provided insight on where to be mindful of how my own stress/fixation can impact the parent-child relationship." * VALERIE WANAMAKER, LCSW, sex and relationship psychotherapist *"Ann Gadd has made an engaging introduction to the Enneagram, focusing on the most important relationship we might ever have--the parent-child relationship. We are all someones child, which makes the book relevant to everyone. Gadd allows us to reflect both on ourselves as parents and as children. You dont need to know about the Enneagram to benefit from this book; you are handed the Enneagrams view on the important aspects of the parent–child relationship and can immediately start using it. With this tool, you can be closer to having a conscious relationship, not only to your children, but also to your parents. Using the lost childhood messages (in the back of the book) is like adding magic dust to your relationships; try it, and you will most probably find that your child sinks into a peaceful, loving state immediately!" * PATRICK HOUGAARD SIMONSEN, Enneagram coach and NLP trainer & ANNABELLA AL-NAFUSI, stress release the *"This book is pure magic. An essential and practical resource for any parent interested in their own self-development journey of growth alongside their child. Ann uses clear, easy to digest language with examples and descriptions that accurately reflect the uniqueness of each style of parent and child." * MARY J. FOURIE, millennial mother and Enneagram coach * Review Quote "Ann Gadd has written a concise and accessible guide for parenting based on the Enneagram. It can be enjoyed by beginning Enneagram enthusiasts and still provides depth for experienced practitioners. Better Parenting with the Enneagram focuses on the positive characteristics of each type and gently challenges us to recognize the places we go to under the specific stresses of parenting. As a child of a Type Four mother, I was blown away by the books accuracy. Ann was able to capture my experience growing up and articulate what I needed as a little child. As a psychotherapist and a parent of two small children this book has become my go-to guide to help the little people and parents in my life!" Excerpt from Book From the Introduction As parents, we tend to believe there is one way to correctly parent a child--ours, naturally. It can come as a shock to discover that there are nine different parenting styles, each with its own positive and less productive characteristics. In marriages, this can become a problem, should your way of parenting differ radically from your partners. Whose method is right? Which way will make for a happier, emotionally healthier child? As an adult, you see life through the filters of your Enneagram personality style. Because of this, you will be inclined to emphasize the aspects of parenting that resonate most with you. If your child is not the same personality type as you are, this can make it harder for you to understand their motivations. For instance, as a Seven parent, (The Enthusiast) living adventurously and seeking new stimulation is a priority, (and you dont shy away from being at the center of a group). But you may have a quiet Five child whod rather fly under the radar and avoid "superficial" social gatherings. If you understand the personality type of your child, you can then parent him/her according to their needs, with greater wisdom, and insight. It needs to be said that in my understanding, parents do not create a childs personality type. They can simply affect the development of healthy or unhealthy aspects of a childs personality type. A traumatic childhood is more likely to create a stressed child who has more trouble accessing the more integrated (conscious) aspects of their type, than a child who has always felt loved, nurtured, and heard. Its also important to understand that in one family, different children may have experienced different types of parenting, depending on the environmental stress during their formative years. There is way more to the Enneagram than just the personality profiling aspect. The Enneagram is a spiritual and psychological guide to help you shine a light on parts of yourself that youre unaware of. With the help of Enneagram awareness, you become your own change agent and the best parent you can be. Thats a truly great start in life to give your children. From Chapter 1: Type One Type One Child: The Good Boy / Girl Margery Meanwell was a fictitious character from the 1765 childrens story The History of Little Goody Two-Shoes . The tale focused on a poor orphaned child, nicknamed Goody Two-Shoes, who only had one shoe. One day a rich man gave her a pair of shoes. Margery goes onto become a teacher and marries into wealth. The name "Meanwell" is true of young Ones. They want to be good and they do mean well in attempting to improve their classmates, siblings, and parents. They are the North Star, shining their light for others to follow. This gives meaning to their existence. Life would be better they believe for everyone, if they just conformed to the rules, and all became like Goody Two-Shoes. Type One kids quickly learn that being good and responsible is the way to garner strokes and praise from parents. Theyre self-disciplining and discipline others; even their parents. Little Ones, can be frustrated by their playmates who they see as being lazy, untidy, noisy, and unreliable. Remember the kid on the playground who had you all playing to the rules? Who would become furious if you dared to move up the snakes and down the ladders because it was different and fun? The bossy child who found the rebel or the non-conformist children hugely annoying. These kids love being prefects in school, a role that legitimately assures that they can keep other kids in line. It also gives them a sense of purpose. Ones often experienced their parent(s) as being inadequate or not available when it came to discipline. Some may feel their parent(s) were too strict or punitive. As a result, a young One starts to create their own set of rules--their own guiding star to steer them. When a parent is overly strict, they may internalize, rather than externalize this code of conduct. Feeling flawed, they try to become perfect. At school and home, their uniforms or clothes will be neat and kept clean, and they will look down their noses at other kids whos rough and tumbles have created dirty marks or tears. Ones work really hard to please teachers and parents and do what is right and expected of them. They love being given tasks to do - making sure everyone is quiet when the teacher leaves the room or handing out the juice. Life can be hard for these little perfectionists who are always trying to take what they believe to be the right course of action. As such, they can sometimes appear overly serious or older than they are. Its important to understand though that as critical as they are of others, they can be equally or harder on themselves. Positive Traits of a One Child Responsible: Even from a young age One kids will take life seriously and approach whatever tasks they are given responsibly and conscientiously. Whether its feeding the cat or doing their homework, little Ones will be reliably up for the task. Wanting to be the best they can be: One kids want to be the best. Not in the way of a Three or an Eight child who needs to win, but rather to strive to be their personal best. Theyll study longer and harder, train with dedication, work hard--whatever it takes to be conscientious and thorough in their chosen field. Its not unusual then for a One child to choose to do their homework first before going outdoors to play. The reward of play only comes after the effort of work. Punctual: One kids like to be on time, so its important to support this by making sure you get them to where they need to be timeous. Being late will make them stressed. Fairness: Ones get very annoyed with parents or teachers as well as other children if they feel that they or others are not being treated fairly. If they are dividing a treasure of sweets, One children will be adamant that each child in the group receives an equal share. (But then theyll likely be the ones sharing out the sweets.) Honest: One kids like to tell the truth, which doesnt always make them popular with other kids, but you can most often rely on their word. Persevering: Long after their classmates have given up on a task, little Ones will still be trying to master whatever it is they feel they need to master. Ordered: One children generally like a neat bedroom where everything has its correct place. Some may even be somewhat obsessive about lining up their teddies or dolls in a certain order. Rooms shared with a messy sibling can prove tricky. Sticking to the rules: If they have a deadline for playtime, TV watching, or if they are playing with others, One kids will generally try sticking to the rules of the house or game. One children intent on doing the right thing tend to be well-mannered and do what they feel is expected of them. Challenging Traits of a One Child Just as is the case with adults, certain traits can degenerate from being positive into extreme forms, where they become less so. The good thing is that in understanding these potential pitfalls in ourselves or our children, we can consciously work to reverse them. Telling tales: Because truth is important, One children can be inclined to tell tales on other kids. This is seldom a popular playground trait. Even from a young age, they can be quite prim and stoic, getting furious with other kids who dont share the same ideals. Better than you: Because they believe that they are better behaved than other kids, they view themselves as superior and more mature and thus assume the role of teaching other kids the correct way (according to their standards), to do things or assume a high moral ground. They can at times do the same with a parent who they believe is not acting correctly. Dislike of criticism: One children dont enjoy criticism. Calling them out in front of siblings or classmates wont go down well. Because they put so much emphasis on doing the right thing, being told they are wrong, can be mortifying. Not wanting to accept blame or responsibility: The same is true for accepting blame when things go wrong. Perfectionistic One children just cant see that they may be at fault. They desperately need to be right, which inevitably makes other kids wrong. "Yes, I did smack him, but he wasnt playing by the rules of the game!" "She cheated so I told on her." "He took my train, so I broke his." Being in control: One children need to feel they are in control. They like to assert themselves in what can be viewed as self-righteous behavior to other kids. The trouble is other kids especially certain types, like Type Eights, for instance, dont want to be controlled and told what to do. So, with the very best intentions, Type One kids can create enemies with the very people they believed they were trying to help. Intolerance of other kids: One kids feel that they alone know the right way to approach a task, whether its building a sandcastle or hitting a ball. They believe they need to help "improve" other children or projects. Fussy eaters: One children may quickly develop certain likes or dislikes for foods. "I dont like it if the sauce is too mushy." "I dont like ice-cream if it has bits in it." The same intolerance that they find in life, translates into food choices. As a parent of a fussy eater, youll need to find a balance between respecting a childs prefere Details ISBN1644114224 Author Ann Gadd Short Title Better Parenting with the Enneagram Pages 256 Language English Year 2022 ISBN-10 1644114224 ISBN-13 9781644114223 Format Paperback Imprint Findhorn Press Subtitle Nine Types of Children and Nine Types of Parents Publisher Inner Traditions Bear and Company Place of Publication Rochester Country of Publication United States Illustrations 18 b&w illustrations NZ Release Date 2022-05-12 UK Release Date 2022-05-12 AU Release Date 2022-05-31 DEWEY 155.26 Audience General Publication Date 2022-05-12 US Release Date 2022-05-12 We've got this At The Nile, if you're looking for it, we've got it. 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